30 Aug 2014 00:00 | 107,918 notes | Reblog

thatguythatdoesthingsandstuff:

ollivander:

frequencyratios:

Shoutouts to all the bisexual people whose parents are secretly hoping they’ll settle down in a heterosexual relationship and get married and have biological children.

shoutout to the pan people who have no idea how to even come out to their parents

Shoutout to all the asexual people with parents that think they’re just not ready for sex yet.

29 Aug 2014 13:10 | 198,923 notes | Reblog

teddytrumpet:

gotpasta:

cosbyykidd:

sickomobb:

ghivashels:

colinmorgasms:

what if obama does the ice bucket challenge and nominates queen elizabeth

what if obama actually talks about what’s going on in ferguson

what if obama stopped exterminating the middle eastern population with drones

what if obama lowered my gotdamn tuition

What if everyone gets educated and stops acting like the President can make decisions for the country by themselves

^that one 

29 Aug 2014 12:56 | 305,638 notes | Reblog

Reasons why October is the best month:

  • Cold but dry weather 
  • Everything is pretty colours
  • Pumpkin pie
  • Pumpkin coffee
  • Everything being made to look spooky
  • Horror movies on TV all the time
  • Halloween
  • Jumper weather
  • Dressing up as scary things
  • Hot drinks
  • Lots of sweets
29 Aug 2014 12:16 | 277,087 notes | Reblog

neverrwhere:

patunes:

either i

  • dont have enough followers to get hate

or i

  • am perfect and therefore yall dont have anything to complain about

image

29 Aug 2014 12:15 | 517,643 notes | Reblog

thatfuckingcrowv2:

orlandobloomers:

instead of sending me nudes you can send me 

  • pics of you smiling with ur fave stuffed animal
  • pics of you smiling with ur mom 
  • pics of plants
  • pics of ur dog
  • pics of silly lookin bugs that u find 

send me the nudes while this geek eats a flower

29 Aug 2014 12:10 | 752,029 notes | Reblog

alittlebitofdisneymagic:

forgettingfilm:

saoritsukiyaori:

hatcadet:

juodaanviinaa:

fuzzypigs:

claybabay:

NEED MONEY FOR COLLEGE

NEED COLLEGE FOR JOB

NEED JOB FOR MONEY

WAHT

WHO THE FUCK DESIGNED THIS SYSTEM

NEED EXPERIENCE FOR JOB

NEED JOB TO GET EXPERIENCE

NEED CAR FOR JOB

NEED JOB FOR CAR

GOTTA EAT TO LIVE
GOTTA STEAL TO EAT
TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT WHEN I GOT THE TIME

ONE JUMP AHEAD OF THE SLOWPOKES

ONE SKIP AHEAD OF MY DOOM

NEXT TIME GOTTA USE A NOM DE PLUME

image

It got better

28 Aug 2014 23:04 | 111 notes | Reblog
best-of-imgur:

Ran to my car because my coworker said some slashed my tires….http://best-of-imgur.tumblr.com

best-of-imgur:

Ran to my car because my coworker said some slashed my tires….
http://best-of-imgur.tumblr.com

28 Aug 2014 23:02 | 497,169 notes | Reblog

New favourite joke:

juliuscaesarofficial:

agathaheterodyne:

where-am-i-send-help:

ougbad:

karlimeaghan:

A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says ”Five beers, please.”

i dont get it

No one explain it

After the Roman drinks the beers, he tells the bartender, “I want a martinus.”

"Don’t you mean a martini?”

"If I wanted two, I would’ve asked for them."

these are the best jokes ever